Nope. It's not the SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I just happened to go through some rough times adapting to my "newly transformed" social circle. I thought it must be the grey dark season that's causing me to become "teary". But nope.
Because today, I and my ever-so-loving bestfriend E noted that I am mildly depressed. Maybe I knew it all along, but believe me, knowing and accepting that you're depressed when you are already in a tough shitty state, is the last thing you want to acknowledge.
Symptoms are there. Just realised it myself. For one thing, the insomniac nights, waking up in the middle of the night and difficulties getting back to sleep.Then, there's that bouts of teary episodes over superficially small things. Losing appetite. Lack of interest in doing things I like doing - msn-ing, fb-ing, watching series. Inability to concentrate while doing work. Wanting to stay in bed all the time, shielding from outside world. Not wanting to be around close friends. Point of the matter is, I, Farah, hereby would like to say that I am mildly depressed.
It's funny isn't it how things have turned. Banar jua nya orang tua2 atu, ketawa2 jangan lebih2 sampai inda ingat dunia, nanti menangis jadinya. True. So true.
For the time being, I think I am just going to "try" hard to look at brighter side of everything, although the chances of that for now is nil. But then again, I will pray that I will be.
I miss my old self. So, I think I am going to be okay.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
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