Just in case...

So you decided to see me out of the blue,

should i let you come over?

i think you're doing fine..

that girl in your arms does she know where you come from?

Almost made me move out of town,

you don't want me to be around, i stayed anyway,

just in case...

finding reasons to hate you more than before

like how you said, you would call

but never at all..got rid off your number that i know by heart...

you left your things at my place,

as if i have all the space,cause you know i dont mind

just come back when you think its time..

i'm all black and white inside,

monotonous from left to right

i decorate my house with things you love

just in case, you show up..

in case you show up.

Yuna, Decorate

Di musim exam...

I don't about you all, but I have this pre-exam rituals that I like to do the night before the exam itself. I get myself new pens and stationaries, and then I use them so they would feel comfy to write on

THE big day! Monday 17th May 2010..

Food ration during the exam battle

I've learnt to love water :) Banarnya membuat air yaasin, so I make myself to drink them. Kali udah lama2 mencari air tia. Now I can't get used to not drinking them at all :D

OSCE day!

The tough part is over.

Now, I have to wait for 3 excruciating weeks to find out if I am ever going to continue with this course. Before, I would have jumped for joy for the taste of freedom...but now, I don't think I can even bother to think about celebrating. My future and dreams to ever become a doctor is on the line, so what do I have to celebrate for?

Truthfully, I am scared. Like really really scared. My confidence level has dropped. I used to believe that I can pull through just about anything whatever the obstacles are that I have to face.

Whatever it is i am feeling right now, I still have faith, tawakkal kepada Allah. I've worked, berusaha as much as I could and the rest I placed my faith to you dear God, Allah.

:')

The 14 hours

Guess what? Yesterday kan, I was like studying for 14 hours straight! From 9pm - 13pm! (I know, I have weird studying timing) This is like an achievement! Well, I used to study like this back when I was doing O and A level, and u think uni makes you even more rajin, BIG FAT NO! It makes me sloppy and lazy and believe it or not, I've lost my studying mojo :(

Well, at least I thought so until last night...I knew it's still there inside me somewhere

*flips hair* ;)

Mamaku punya day

Yeap! I've finally succumbed to the temptation (referring t0 FB here)...Found these few tagged pixxies from Shaz's. I love seeing my family pictures, looking at what they have been up to and what's new, hot and sizzlings and all lol. Apparently, my bros and Shaz went to treat mama for a good jolly mother's day! Aku jeles :( and aku mo ikut juaa :'(

Lop u ma ♥

I'm glad Shaz uploaded and tagged the pictures because at least there's always something for me to gaze at when I'm in my dreamy-wawa-gaga-land while i'm having my "revision break" :P

I especially love this picture ♥

Because ichat loves me

Just got this tadi while checking my fb (yes, I've finally succumb to the temptation :P) and found 67 notifications (for over a week, which is not that bad). With it, found lotsa tagged pictures by my families. Mom and bros and shaz celebrating mommy's day and pics of ichat tagged by Khal with the sweetest caption ever "..because I know u miss him big time" (Thanks Khal!!!). Made it my wallpaper right after I found that pic..

I miss home :'(

Never should've would've done that...

1 week!

Yes, I managed to go through that whole 3 days not checking my msn/even fbing. And since I was doing so well, I figured why not continue what I've been doing for the whole week! And I DID! Banarnya kan, mcm malas kan masuk msn lagi, because for once after a very long time, I am emotionally in control of myself..and I don't have to think about "anything else" or "anyone else" except to focus on my studies of course *geeky smiley to be inserted here please*. I would've continued till after exam but I fear that my parents or someone would send me an important offline messages.

So, there I was an hour ago, still having doubts about going online., just because I fear that I would receive or see something that I don't really wish / like to see or know or whatever it is that would make go into an emotional turmoil. So..in the end, i did go online aaaaaaand...Darn!!! My instinct couldn't have been anymore right!

Well just so you know, nothing majorly important happened and I might be writing this a lil' more dramatic that I should have, but I really don't like what I am feeling right now..this feeling of uncertainty and worrying about what possibly could be just a nonsense stuff. Paaaaasal.... of one stupid silly offline message from a particular someone who ...let's just say, it's something that I don't like to read..dengan big caps lagi tu and all. Sigh...Drama~

Okay, I will not go online anymore! Period! (Well...for now at least).

Bah eyh, sasak ku. Baik ku membaca.

A bundle of nerves

It is just a week left now until my exam begins. I am really on pins and needles just waiting and anticipating for the day where I'll be fighting for my future. I am not being dramatic here, it really is the last chance for me to ever fulfill my wishes and dream to be a doctor.

It has been a rough year for me. I don't remember ever feeling like this before, like everything that you've work for before is on the line. Fail, goodbye medicine forever. Nazubillah. I really hope everything goes smoothly.

Histories have tought me to become more prepared - academically, physically, spiritually and mentally for what will about to happen when result is out. No matter what the ending is gonna be, I'll pray that Allah will always be here by my side.

I am anxious, nervous and quacking in my boots just thinking about it all.

To mom and dad, I do hope that I will make you proud regardless of what the outcome would be. Thanks for picking me up when I was down and for constantly never-endingly supporting me.

Thanks ma for being the light of my life.


Love,

Total eclipse of the heart

Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming round
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of my tears
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
that the best of all the years have gone by
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
and then I see the look in your eyes

Turn around bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
(all of the time)

I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
(Forever's gonna start tonight)

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Unintentional pamper day

When I was out yesterday, I thought I should buy myself some comfort food, with the sole intention to help me go through my busy geeking days.


I ended not doing work :( Instead, I binged the food while watching my long awaiting downloaded series. I slept a lot too! Woke up at 3pm? (From 6am of course) I feel so guilty...but then kan, I believe it happens for a reason --> I might not get the chance to play around and good enough sleep anymore next week, so this might be the last time I'm ever gonna be able to have a good play time.

A good Arabian friend of mine whom I met during our SSC module early this year, gave me a good doa to read for the exam. It's extracted from Surah Shua'ra verse 83 and she said that Syeikh Jamal Uddin advised to read this verse before every exam, as it had helped him go through each of his exam, even without studying. So I found the surah and made a note for myself. Insyallah, hopefully, along with my other doa and prayers, I hope this one will help me go through this intimidating exam as well :)

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي حُكْمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ

(Wahai Tuhanku, berikanlah daku ilmu pengetahuan agama dan hubungkanlah daku dengan orang-orang yang soleh)

Goodluck to you out there who are having exams :)

Hatch lil' egg~

I just realised that, today, would be a week since I've gone out of the flat. Yes, a WEEK!!! Well, not that I mind or anything, and I have to say, I've gotten used to living in the egg shell for a while. Not that I'm wasting my time, I'm actually being super productive, which felt like yearsss since I've been one. It's like back to O and A level years all over again~ *awww sound in the background for the dramatic effect*

Owh did I mention before that I haven't gone to check my fb and my msn yet? :D *a geek smile to be inserted here please*

I feel more content when I'm not around msn, less drama around. Hmmm..who knows, I might even consider not using it again. Notice the "might"...lol. But it's kinda hard also not to have msn 'coz thats where my families usually contact me and stuff, esp me being away and everything...but come to think of it, mama bapa selalu jua call and message arah mobile, i only use msn to contact si ajid, atupun if there's a strike of lightning..(did i use that metaphor right??)..mm nyeh *shrug* we'll see~

Why am I up early again? Pasal karang I have a superfun "date" in the med school practicing with my "super-enthusiastic" friend/s (we'll see later who's the chirpy ones lol), for the osce exam coming up soon. Come to think of it kan, OSCE is the only thing that I'm not worried about, it's the paper exam that I'm anxious about...*shudder*

Baaaaaaaah, kan jalan soon. I will soon spare you the details of my boring life. Until then, tata!




p/s: *pointing up* notice that I finally manage to make it blend with the background!! Awesome right??? :P

Woohoo~

3 days!!!

Yeaaah baby, that's right!!! 3 DAYS of ...*drumroll*... NO whatsoever contact with facebook and msn!

Aahaha, apakan...Lame~

Hiatus?

Anaemia.

That's the first thing i thought of when typing this post. Only because I am halfway reading about it..kekeke. I am simply out of words to blog about. And why am I blogging again? *scratches head*

Random note : pancake edah buatkan while i'm busy doing works (thanks E!)

I am actually trying to dare myself, or rather make a bet to myself, that I will not go to facebook or msn for at least 4..no wait, 3 days? Yeap 3 days. Which is kinda silly really pasal here I am..blogging..which is like an equivalent of fbing / msning, (-_-')..but at leastkan there won't be any social contact watsoever right?

Goodluck to me. Haha.

Another random note: I figured why not take a pic of the notes that I have to look into for the remaining 2 weeks. Just because so i'll know how much works I have to do.

A silly timetable pasal only the first 5 days are important, and the rest are empty. Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother to make these things..:S

the spot i've learned to love :)

p/s: Owh with the dare, I will get to watch something i like. For instance, I get to see my charming gorgeous man, Dean Winchester ;)

If I never knew you

A newly discovered song that I've grown to love while reading the anatomy of the skin :P

Apparent Mel Gibson sang this song! This soundtrack was never included in the film and it was only recently put into the release of the 10th Anniversary Edition DVD. So anyway, Click here to get the rest of the story.

Pain pain run away, you came back another day~

26th April.

1st May.

1st July.